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The board gamers guide to snacking - No grease. No powder.

May 21, 2017

 Finding the right snack when playing board games is no easy task. You want to give your friends some food to eat so they will continue to stay your friends, without it taking over the table, nor ruining your perfectly crisp cards. Of course, the types of snacks you choose to put out is entirely dependent on how close you feel to the people that you invited to your game night.


Snacks for your “meh, I don’t care much about them” friends


1. Trail mixes

Nothing says I am not invested in this friendship like a trail mix without chocolates. Get a bag today, eat all the chocolate, and leave the remaining for the people that you instantly regretted inviting to your board game night.


2. Pretzels

If you want to take it a step further, pretzels are perfect for spending very little to buy a large amount of food. Remember to remove access to all liquids before serving this, and see the life leave their eyes as you force them to concede defeat in exchange for the precious water they crave to force the pretzels down their throats.


3. Bite sized wrapped candy

Board game nights are perfect for disposing off last year’s Halloween candies that you bought hoping that at least this year, some kids would come knocking at your door. Just remember to remove the candy you stuck needles in before serving.


4. Grapes

Vegan? Check. Gluten Free? Check. Nuts free? Check. Perfect for any large gathering, as the overlapping set of allergies rapidly shrinks the meal options. It shows you are thoughtful, healthy, and sensitive to everyone. Except Steve. The weird asthmatic dude who is allergic to grapes will just have to watch sadly as you serve everyone some delicious pre-mature wine.


Snacks for your real friends


1. Bacon wrapped anything

Whether you stick it in the oven, or deep fry it, bacon wrapped anything is a delicious attempt to show off to your friends your culinary expertise. Sprinkle some cinnamon on top and see their eyes light up in jealousy at your mad cooking skills.


2. Tomato and mozzarella caprese skewers

This deceptively simple recipe calls for just 3 steps:

Cut the cheese (grow up) into tiny squares

Take a toothpick and stick a cube of cheese, a tomato, and a fresh basil into it. Repeat 150 times as you immediately start to regret committing to this snack and start stabbing the food with decreasing precision.

Lay them out on a serving tray, and sprinkle some salt and pepper. End it by attempting to drizzle vinaigrette on top, and managing to pour too much over some parts, and none over the rest.


3. Bagel Bites

Get some tiny bagels and toast them. Spread some marinara sauce, sprinkle mozzarella cheese, and slice up some pepperoni cheese to add on top. Act as if you know what you are doing by sprinkling some oregano flakes on top.

Stick these in the oven and keep checking every 10 seconds to see if they are done. Get frustrated and walk away. Rush back 5 minutes later to see the bagels overcooked and starting to blacken at the edges. Pull them out of the oven, and serve them to your friends as they pretend to enjoy the overcooked bites.

And there you go, the perfect recipe for a successful board game night.


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