Plenty has been said of body language. Many books have claimed that your body language is 80-90% of all your communication. And no matter how menacing your tone, how will the other players know how much you really need that sheep?
We have created a useful guide below to help you identify the type of board gamer you are. Remember, no matter how far gone you may appear, there’s always hope. Unless you are Steve.
You are normal. Congratulations! The normal pose exhibits poise, good ergonomics, and typically a desire to act regular to hide the fact that you are holding a bitchin' hand.
The aggressive player takes no hostages, using their more aggressive stance to mask their sudden realization that they may not in fact be able to execute on the strategy they had been planning for the last two hours of the game.
3. Extremely aggressive
Extremely aggressive stances are marked by attempts to intimidate the opponents into submission, often accompanied by some foaming at the mouth. If you are prone to such behavior, perfect the crazy eyes for maximum impact.
4. Anger Management Issues aka Nerd Hulk
Few actions can speak louder than climbing onto the table, reaching across the board to strangle the other player to signal your true emotion about the way they just played their turn. This move is guaranteed to stop other players from making any other moves that may potentially upset you, even as you sit there heaving like a bull in heat eyeing your next target.
5. Outcome driven
Players that are outcome driven can be spotted in the wild by their nervous tics, pacing, or standing and leaning in varying degrees of inclination. These are players that are incapable of masking their intentions, and as such should always be tricked into playing poker for money.
6. Zen master
The zen master is characterized by their eccentric poses, often exhibiting nonchalance and disengagement from the rest of the theatrics surrounding them. They play the long game, often such a long game that even losing the game for 30 times in a row is a part of their plan.
Gloaters can be readily intercepted and identified on one of their many victory laps midway through the game. A gloater, takes special pride in burying another player and following it up with a villain’s maniacal laughter, forgetting for the millionth time that this behavior is what always results in the others ganging up against him. The gloater derives additional value from defeating others after they ganged up on him, and is best handled by being ignored.
8. Seeing the scores tallied